Understanding Rumination - Depression Vancouver

Posted on Thu, Apr 19, 2012


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Topics: Rumination, Shame, Depression, Mental Health

Stressed out when we're Left Out

Posted on Wed, Jan 25, 2012
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Topics: Anxiety, Shame, Stress, Depression, Courage, Mental Health, Overwhelmed, Belonging

Know any LAZY people? Are you sure? Counselling in Vancouver ...

Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2012

Know any LAZY people?  Are you sure?

Counselling in Vancouver over the years I've found that a lot of discussion cycles around Laziness. 

Do you know people in your life who are lazy?  Do they frustrate you with their lack of effort, exertion, or speed?  Is it your partner, your child, employees or co-workers?  Is it you? 

Where do people first hear they are lazy?  Their parents, teachers, perhaps coaches?  How and why does this label get affixed?  Is it to spur them on to do more through shame?

Laziness is an interesting word.  Dictionary.com describes it as being “averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.”  It is an extremely pejorative word – “He is so lazy!”   No wonder it carries with it such a stigma.

EXERCISE:  Just for a minute, pretend that the concept of laziness does not exist.  Instead, replace it with the following concept: Everyone is always motivated to do something.  As long as we are awake, we are constantly (although not 100% consciously) choosing what to do. 

How does the shift to believing that we are constantly motivated change the way you look at the “person formerly known as Lazy?” 

Instead of seeing the person as having a character flaw (or even worse – seeing the person as flawed), we see that they are simply not motivated to do what it is you want them to do.  How might you come in contact with this person differently knowing that some other motivation was more important to them?  Does it change your thoughts, emotions, and ultimately the way you may treat them?  How would your relationship with this person change if you were able to see them differently?

What if it is you?  What if you are the so-called Lazy person?  What if you drop the label – what will you lose and gain?

One thing will you will lose is a built-in excuse for NOT DOING.  Instead of relying on this “excuse” that allows you to not have to engage, try, or attempt to do something in your world, it leaves you responsible for your choices and actions.  You cannot simply say, “Its not my fault, I’m lazy.  I’ve always been lazy.  My parents told me I was lazy from the time I can remember.”  You are forced to look more deeply at what motivations are shifting you towards or away from various areas of your life.

As for what you may gain … you can probably guess and achieve ... if you have the courage to try.

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Topics: Shame, Courage, Motivation, Thriving, Helping Others, Lazy